Motherly Advice

*Let me preface this blog entry by stating that in no way am I trying to enforce my opinions or advice on anyone, nor am I "all knowing" in motherhood or parenting. I simply want to share some resources that I found useful during my pregnancy, and afterwards, that might be useful for others.

With news of many around me expecting a baby in the near future (or already parents), I thought it might be helpful to share some resources that were shared with me or that I found independently during my journey. These resources really helped me in order to prepare for all aspects of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. I continuously try to use what I have learned and put this newly harnessed knowledge into practice each day.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Pregnancy:

I wanted a medication-free/medical intervention-free birth for our child. However, if I felt that I truly could not go through the pain then I was open to accepting medication. Same with medical intervention - if my child or I were in danger or we did everything else we possibly could and there were no other options besides C-section then I was open to that intervention to help us. Thankfully, neither of those things happened. My labor and delivery experience went as close to our birth plan as possible. But, I truly feel that without having these resources at hand it would have been a little more difficult.

Yes, I went without medication through the entire labor and delivery process. The doctors were so amazed that I was doing such a good job. They thought I was a champ at giving birth "naturally" (um, isn't birth itself natural?). *I realized that I never shared Vie's birth story, but if you truly want to know the details then feel free to ask and I will share!

Let me just say that I was afraid of pregnancy and giving birth since high school. And how could I not be when women in society pound it into your head as such a terrible ordeal? All you hear about are the horror stories - where are the positive stories about birth? Enter Ina May Gaskin...

The first resource I read was Ina May Gaskin's book called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It was recommended to me by my SIL Alison. A great read! If you want to be empowered and fearless, I suggest reading other women's positive birth stories. Not only that, as a midwife, Ina May has direct knowledge about the whole process and has seen all types of things! And she is not afraid to talk about it bluntly :) She has great tips on different labor positions (which I used), the importance of breathing techniques and relaxation, and the importance of a loving and supportive coach.

Childbirth - Labor and Delivery:

Asa and I enrolled in some childbirth classes through the hospital which were actually pretty informative and useful. Being in a room with other expectant parents was a relief and the nurses who taught the classes made things less scary and more real. That was always my problem: my imagination and fear of the unknown drove me to think of childbirth in scary and painful ways when I found it not to be that way at all!

Again, Ina May's book was the most helpful for me in this area because it allowed for me to think of birth in a positive, natural light - which, after all, it is! And granted, my pregnancy and childbirth experiences were nice and easy (compared to some others), but I firmly believe that women need more confidence and support in this area and Ina May provided that for me.

Asa and I also took to another media outlet - movies. Actually, just one movie. A documentary called The Business of Being Born. I recommend! It discusses how hospitals view birth as procedures and place a lot of pressure upon women to get babies out as fast as possible. The documentary talks about the chain reaction that happens once you start a medication that is just fascinatingly disturbing and unknown by many. Anyway, I suggest checking that out for a lot more information. And I will say (in relation to this movie) that I am not at all opposed to giving birth in a hospital, but I realized after my experience that I could have totally given birth at home and probably will for the next one! Especially now that those nice hospital bills are coming in... :)

Breastfeeding:

I wasn't too keen on having to breastfeed either, but I knew it was going to be the best option. So, I took to another Ina May book recommended by my SIL: Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. While I didn't enjoy this book as much as I did her other one, it did have a lot of helpful information that made breastfeeding a lot less awkward and weird to me.

Now, the end that never ends -

Parenting:

Parenting is a constant learning experience. While I can't speak about it too much right now, I can give some resources on it. I know there are a ton of books out there about how to get your child to sleep, the things you should be teaching them as a parent, how to discipline children, yadda yadda. I don't really like reading those books so I'll only read the sections I need help with. Well, another book my SIL recommended is Dr. Harvey Karp's The Happiest Baby On the Block. Dr. Karp is a pediatrician in New York and many celebrities even look to him for advice. This book is all about the "fourth trimester" and how to soothe colicky babies. I was reading this to prepare myself for a colicky baby, but she turned out not to be one (thank God!). However, even though we didn't use a lot of things he talked about, we did gain more knowledge about why colic happens, for how long, why babies should be in the womb for another three months, why babies like certain movements and sounds, etc. He is a great writer and he doesn't make you feel bad for not being able to soothe your baby!

I also read sections of a Slow and Steady Parenting book which discusses things like thumb sucking vs. pacifiers, Ferber method vs. comforting, etc. and the "short term solutions that lead to long term effects." The things parents sometimes never think about! I could spiel on these topics, but perhaps I should save that for a later entry or a face-to-face discussion!

Recently, I came across a vaccination resource since we now have to make decisions on whether or not to vaccinate our child. This topic has been of some recent debate and now that we are presented with it, my husband and I want to make sure we are doing good research. After all, we are the advocates and decision makers for our child so we need to make sure we are educated and keeping her safe. This resource I found is informational and presents some facts that were unknown to me. I find it to be a legitimate source and provider of some of the information I was seeking about whether or not to vaccinate. I do recommend reading the "Informed Consent" article under the ABOUT US section.

We also chose to use cloth diapers for our little one. It saves us so much money, is better for the environment, is hassle-free, and we get to use cute covers :) We go through a diaper service called Diapers Unlimited by Dydee Service. It's a diaper delivery service available in MI, IN and IL. Each week we pay a certain fee and get cloth diapers delivered to our door! - and they take the dirty ones away! It is SO helpful, especially since both my husband and I work full-time. They are easy to work with and very friendly so if you are thinking of doing cloth diapers for your babe I recommend giving them a call.

Lastly, I look to other moms and dads out there for different parenting styles. I believe all of us can learn from each other about the ways to raise our children. I find it fascinating the styles, techniques, disciplines, etc. that parents use - there is no universal way to raise children which I think all parents (at one point or another) wish was possible! :)

All in all, be an advocate for your child. Do what is safe, responsible, good, and healthy. I hope this entry has been of some use, and I am always open to questions and discussion! I might not know a lot, but I do know that in order for me to be a good mother I need to continuously do research and gain knowledge about a lot of things in order to grow, mature, and pass down wisdom :)

*Whichever stage you may be in, I hope you and your child are safe, happy, and healthy!*

Falling for Autumn

As the weather begins to cool, I find myself becoming excited for fall. Which, if you know me well, you probably thought you would never hear me say as I have always declared summer my favorite season! Well, I must be growing up because lately I have been ready for the summer heat to end. Perhaps I'm ready for fall because I was pregnant during the summer and didn't go to the beach or lay out in the sun like I usually would have. And, because now I can get back to life and move forward with my lovely little family.

I started making a list the other day of all the things I love about fall. I'm looking forward to participating in some of them. I hope to appreciate the autumn season this year and take the time to create new traditions. I have already decided that this fall I would like to tackle making a pecan pie for the first time! I have never made a pie before, so why not start with a difficult one? ;) Now that life has settled down a bit, I don't think that will be too difficult to accomplish creating new traditions. This time last year, my husband and I were planning our wedding that was just a couple of months away! And now we will have a three and a half month old by then - crazy how the time flies when you have a lot of big life changes :)

Things to love about the fall season:
+ Cooler weather makes for great layering and better fashion
+ The change in the color of the leaves
+ Days spent at the local orchard
+ Delicious apple cider (hot or cold)
+ The beginning of the holiday season
+ Cuddling with blankets, family, good books, and warm drinks
+ Artprize (in Grand Rapids)
+ Our wedding anniversary
+ Football games
+ Warm comfort food

What are some of your favorite things about fall?

This week, I went back to work after six weeks of being at home with my newborn daughter. As you can tell, I made it through! Thankfully I went back on a Wednesday so I only had to make it through three days. And being that it was a Wednesday, my husband took care of our daughter, as he will from here on out. His boss is kind enough to let him work on Saturdays so that he can have Wednesdays at home - not that working on Saturdays is better, but it is nice that he can be home one day a week. We are also very lucky to have a friend and a relative watch our daughter the other days of the week. No daycare for us!

The transition was easier than I thought it would be, although I would much rather be at home. Having spent six weeks at home with my little one brought me so much joy and happiness that I started dreaming about becoming a stay-at-home mother - something I never thought I would have desired! I hope to live out that dream someday.

Back to reality. Coworkers wished me "welcome back" when they saw me this week and immediately asked to see pictures. Of course, I didn't hesitate to show them our cute Vie! I was also able to come home during my lunch hour and feed or pump. I'm happy that so far the plan has worked, and that I live close enough to home to be able to walk back and forth so that I can have a little bit of bonding time with my daughter during the day. Plus I get my exercise, so no complaints there :)

I'm curious to find out what these next few weeks will bring in terms of being a working mother. Will the transition become easier? Will some other new opportunities present themselves? I am also curious to find out what the future holds in other areas of my life. Since giving birth, I have felt a new sense of freedom - the ability to return to life as it was before I was pregnant, and also the ability to create a new life - but that's a story for a whole other post entirely!

Thankful for the weekend!

In an effort to constantly improve my blog and make my presence known to the social media world, I am always trying to think of topics about which to write. Therefore, I have come up with a list of topics that will soon make their appearance in posts. Leave a comment below with suggestions of other topics you would like to read about on my blog!

Recent topics of interest:

+ mama style & baby style

+ tips, tricks, and information on cloth diapering, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, "5 S's" cure for soothing colicky babies

+ going against the grain (in terms of pregnancy, motherhood, and raising children) in today's society: thumb sucking vs. pacifiers, cloth vs. disposable diapering, co-sleeping vs. sleeping in separate rooms, breast vs. bottle feeding, labor & delivery methods

+ life after returning to work - finding a good balance as a working mother

+ more about me: dreams and desires, new adventures in life, daily musings

My baby is a month old already! It still seems like yesterday we were spending a weekend in the hospital bonding as a family. Over the past few weeks I have thought of that weekend a number of times. It still seems unreal to me - the timeline of events from beginning of labor to birth, the emotions we felt and how they constantly changed, the "feeling" of Vienna's birth day and the weekend ... all of that. I think about the day we came home from the hospital and everything was as we left it just two days before: dirty dishes in the sink, our pajamas and a notebook I was using to track contractions opened up on the bed, windows open, the area of the living room floor where I was doing labor positions early Friday morning. It's like we had a moment of time captured to relive; or rather, remember. I suppose the same could be said when you go on vacation for awhile and then come back home to see everything as it was before you left. Time stands still.

The first month of motherhood has been great. Getting used to having a baby around has been an adjustment, but we love it. Although I am more tired than usual, I love caring for my daughter. She is such a sweetheart, and a rather good baby, and I am blessed to have her as a part of my family. And this month, she was added to another family - our church family! We were fortunate enough to have her baptized into the Catholic community a few weeks ago. It's refreshing to know that she has so much love and support around her. We are grateful to be witnesses to this Sacrament and now have even more responsibility as parents to guide her as she grows.

Speaking of growing, Vienna has done a lot of that this month! Just a week and a half after her birth, she had already gained 13oz - she weighed in at over 9lbs! And Asa and I can tell that she has put on more weight since then for she feels heavier these days :) She has also grown in length. She is already getting to be too big for her bassinet (unless she is swaddled)! We might have to transition to a crib sooner than we thought. It has been fun to witness her growth physically and mentally over the past month.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to witness her growth in such close quarters too much anymore. Next week I must return to work so our bonding moments will be saved for evenings and during lunch hour when I plan to come home and feed her. This situation is one that has weighed heavily on my heart since a few months before giving birth, but I must trust that in time God will provide us with the means for me to become a stay-at-home mama. And although I do have to return to work, I shouldn't dwell on it too much because the past month of bonding with my daughter has been wonderful and will be able to continue even once I start working again.

But enough "woe is me" ... life is great! My husband and I are very blessed and fortunate for everything that we have and are. I am looking forward to the changing of the seasons from summer to fall, watching Vienna grow each day, our one year wedding anniversary, our future as a family and the prospect of owning a home to call our own, the everyday goods and bads, growing in my roles as wife, mother, & homemaker, and whatever else comes our way!

On Friday, July 25th at 4:08pm, Asa and I welcomed our daughter into the world. At 8lbs 4oz, she was perfection and immediately daddy's little girl.

People ask us who we think she looks like, and honestly, we aren't sure. But, she does have some visible qualities from each of us already. She has my husband's cowlick and curved toes, and my big feet and long fingers. It also looks like she is going to share our blue eye color. And of course, she's a total cutie :)

The first week at home went by all too quickly. My husband didn't work all week which was something that I really enjoyed - it was nice having him around. We also had lots of visitors who brought meals and gifts which was definitely appreciated. Obviously, there has been an adjustment with having a baby around, but we made it through - nothing too unbearable yet.

Motherhood has been about what I expected. Actually, I sort of fell into it rather easily. It has been an enjoyable experience so far learning and experiencing new things, having a new priority and responsibility, and making sacrifices for my family. I hope I'm being the best mom I can be to my little girl!

Things I learned this past week:
+ there truly are not enough hours in the day
+ caffeine and naps are a must
+ nursing is painful at first and at times inconvenient, but totally worth it
+ thank goodness we chose to use cloth diapers instead of disposables - babies go through so many of them!
+ eight hours of uninterrupted sleep at night is no longer an option (hence why naps are a must)
+ my husband is the best at changing diapers and shhing our baby when she's crying
+ I have more patience than I thought
+ raising children is definitely a team effort and I'm so thankful for my husband and all he does
+ what once was thought to be a burden is now a blessing
+ knowing I'm no longer pregnant gives me a whole new sense of freedom

I am now a mama to a beautiful girl - what a precious gift!

Waiting Game

This week I started my maternity leave from work. What a relief! It has been nice to be able to stay home and get things done. Although, I had to create a list of things to do to keep myself occupied after other tasks were finished so as to not sit around worrying about labor or "waste" my time off doing absolutely nothing. Thankfully, worrying about labor hasn't settled in my mind - perhaps that will change once I am actually in it! Although labor has been a fear of mine in the past and is something that is rather unsettling, lately I have simply thought "I will deal with it when it comes. No big deal. I'm confident enough in myself and my body, and my body was meant to do this, so no problem." And, since I do not know what to expect, do not know how it will go, how painful it will be, etc., how can I even fathom how the process is going to be? So, I am ready and will deal with it when it comes.

Speaking of which, Asa and I are hoping for the baby to make its appearance this weekend! We are ready to meet our babe - and having heard of a few births recently of friends/people we know - are eager to see who our baby is and welcome him/her into our life. So, pray that will have the baby this weekend! Dealing with some aches and pains this week has me hopeful that we are very close to having the baby - granted, we have less than a week until the due date anyway, so any day now could be labor day :)

So what have I been doing this week while I am sitting around playing the waiting game? Well, my list wasn't as fun as you may think, but as long as I was able to cross things off of it, then I am satisfied :)

things to do (done) while waiting for labor:

+ clean the apartment: laundry, bathroom, kitchen sink, sweep, vacuum, dust, clean the stove, dishes.

+ homemaking: organize books and papers around apartment, change place settings for the dinner table, make dinner each night, bake cookies (peanut butter).

+ baby things: practice using cloth diapers, practice swaddling, reread about the "5 S's" to cure colicky babies, read sections of pregnancy/parenting books, practice using Moby wrap, add more and more "one last thing!" to diaper bag & hospital bag, print off poem to add to decoration above the bassinet.

+ mama time: tv, movies, see a couple of friends, church and prayer, blog, and much needed naps!

Hopefully I won't have to come up with another list for next week! Pray that we'll get to celebrate a birthday in our family this weekend :)