Nine Months In ... Nine Months Out

My daughter turned nine months old today. And while it may not seem like a huge deal to some people, I think it warrants attention. Considering she spent nine months inside my womb, a look at her nine months later is a fitting way to compare how much time has passed. I can't believe she is this old already - where has the time gone?!

So, here I present: nine months in ... nine months out. Along with some outtakes and other pictures from our small photo session this afternoon (thanks, papa)!

July 6, 2014 - a photo from my mini maternity session. Awaiting the arrival of our little babe!

April 25th, 2015 - V at nine months old.

Outtakes and other good photos:

Also, accidental twinning...

Meaningful Musings

#tbt
A year ago today we saw our baby for the first time. What an experience! Choosing not to find out the sex was the best decision ever. It made the birth a great and wonderful surprise.

As I continue to pack away V's old clothes or items that are no longer of use, I find myself reminiscing over her life in all of its past and present stages. Right now I am longing for her newborn stage and the feelings surrounding her arrival. The other day I was reading over congratulatory cards that we received from family members, friends, coworkers, and neighbors, and my heart was filling with so much love and gratitude for everyone who reached out to us and to her. It's fascinating how a baby really does change everything. Those first few days and weeks as a new family of three are my favorite.

Finding her ultrasound pictures the other day also got me thinking about my pregnancy. I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences. Though now I find it odd to think of myself being pregnant and its hard to remember those nine months. Realizing that this time last year I was almost in the final stages of pregnancy is strange and feels like a lifetime ago. I will gladly do it again someday.

My advice to pass along is this: 1. cherish every moment. Seriously, they go by so quickly. You will find yourself missing the good and bad moments. 2. opt not to find out the sex of your baby or share names. I know it goes against the trend today, but it gives you more perspective on the whole journey. It makes life simpler. Priorities change. (If you need more clarification on what I mean, please don't hesitate to ask)

Now go kiss those babies!! xo

Meaningful Musings

With each passing day I watch my daughter transform, grow, and learn. In a matter of no time she went from barely crawling, to crawling all over and getting into things, to now making attempts at pulling herself up onto everything.  And as a witness to these moments that I so cherish and am happy to be able to witness firsthand, I find myself – from time to time – thinking of my own growth and maturity; especially in the past three to five years.

I dwell fondly, and with most attention, on my time with A.

The introduction of his presence into my life was perfect. At the time I had recently let go of some heartache and was trying to find myself again. (If you’re reading this, you know who you are ;) ). Thankfully, that heartache turned into a good friendship that is sometimes reunited.

Anyway, all of that to say that A and I became interests and good friends in a brief amount of time. As our friendship grew, so did our love for one another. Our faith in God grew as well because of our time spent together; therefore, our trust in His timing and plan for our lives also had to grow.

Well, five years later and we still sometimes fail to trust God’s plan for our lives. Just yesterday evening we were pondering where we would be if we weren’t married or had baby girl V. It is a question that I (probably all too often) am always dwelling upon as it wasn’t my plan to have a baby so soon after marriage. But A and I always come to the conclusion that it was perfect timing and that we are so happy to be where we are now.

The reason I wrote this post is because lately I have been thinking about our engagement photos and the couple we were before marriage or starting a family occurred. Sometimes I forget what life, our relationship, and even I was like before the big events, but it doesn’t do much good to dwell on them too much anyway. With the excitement of marriage just a few months away, we were so ready to begin life together. Little did we know what was in store for us! All good things, of course!

Here is the specific engagement picture I have been thinking about –

This shot is just outside the Academic Building (AB) on Aquinas College’s campus. We decided to take pictures on campus because that’s where we first met (specifically in English class in AB), it is the place we identify with most, the campus has beautiful locations, scenery, and greenery, and it would also be where we would get married – at the small chapel on campus called Bukowski Chapel.

In fact, just a few steps away from where this picture was taken was where A first hugged me. Of course, preceding the hug was a greeting of “dude” which at the time struck me as an odd way to address a girl, yet I also felt as though the greeting was reserved only for people of great importance. With his outstretched arms and warm embrace, I was assured that his greeting was that of deep friendship. I would come to know that such a greeting was common amongst his group of friends and that it wasn’t at all out of the ordinary to be addressed this way.

Who knew that three years later we would be standing in the same spot - not on purpose by photographer or us; I hadn’t even thought about it until I began writing this post! - as a newly engaged couple, excited for our day of engagement photos and the prospect of marriage (and the rest of our lives together) in six months? (These photos were taken at the end of June 2013)

Winter Recap

With winter FINALLY ALMOST GONE and spring on its lovely way, I thought it would be fun to provide a recap of some things that were accomplished this season. I never usually keep a record like this, but with writing one I can feel better knowing that I didn’t just sit inside for four months and do absolutely nothing. Winter is always an unenjoyable time for me, and being that this year I didn’t have to work or go outside much, I had to be creative with how to use my time indoors. I really missed the opportunity to have lots of greenery in the apartment, so that will definitely have to go on the list for next year!

Winter recap –

recipes made [some new, some old]:

+ veggie soup (x4)

+ pizza dough (xWeekly, almost)

+ spinach, mushroom, and zucchini lasagna

+ veggie bean burgers (x3)

+ salsa (x2) [recipe found here]

+ chocolate chip/butterscotch chip/flax seeds/walnut cookies

+ walnut rum wafers ( - rum + cocoa)

+ chocolate cut-out sugar cookies (for Christmas)

DIYs:

+ heart garland [diy found here]

+ recipes listed above

household / homemaking:

+ rearranged apartment (x2) [related post found here]

+ simplified “stuff” and gave away many items [related post found here]

+ hung holiday, seasonal decorations & memorabilia

+ framed artwork, hung pictures/memorabilia

+ got rid of cable and internet

+ bought a small Ivy plant

baby v:

+ eating some solid food

+ cut two (bottom) teeth

+ crawling

+ completely transitioned to her own room and bed :( - done with decorating & set up

+ doing cloth diaper laundry ourselves (no more service)

+ photoshoot session

+ smiles for the camera/phone when you hold it up to her and say “cheese!”

personal / husband & wife:

+ virtual marriage retreat with Pope Francis (National Marriage Week) [post found here]

+ Lenten daily devotional [related post found here]

+ read Cuckoo’s Calling

+ completed lots of word search puzzles

+ celebrated A’s 26^th birthday (a one year subscription to Reader’s Digest & Clarks (lifetime guarantee) socks were my gifts to him)

+ re-vamped the blog a bit more/decided on a style (still hoping to have an actual website soon) / made a Facebook page for the blog for easier access

+ visits with/from family and friends

+ decided to go as organic as possible after reading an Organic Living book received for Christmas

+ watched movies / my favorite: The Grand Budapest Hotel

+ found some direction in terms of career / excited for the new possibilities! Now it’s just about implementation and acquiring clientele – expected to be a continually developing process

Now it's time to create a list of all the things I am looking forward to and hope to accomplish this spring! What are some of your winter recap moments?

Weekend Wanderings

I'm sure I have posted about this before, but ever have one of those really good weekends? One where the balance between getting things accomplished and resting was just perfect? Well, this weekend was another one of those weekends for me.

Saturday started with my husband making an overdue trip to the auto shop for an oil change. I'm so relieved that it is taken care of! Once my husband arrived home, we made an obligatory Saturday stop for some donuts at our favorite local bakery, Sandy's, on our way to the in-laws for breakfast. The rest of the day was spent accomplishing other things on our list which left us feeling satisfied of the fact that we had used our time well (though perhaps not exactly according to schedule). But why do you need to have a strict schedule on the weekend anyway? :)

Most of Sunday was spent rearranging the apartment yet again. My husband did most of the rearranging this time; which is odd because I'm usually the one itching to change things. But I was thankful that he took initiative to move the furnishings in ways he thought were more practical for our lifestyle these days. Yesterday we successfully changed the living room and dining room and tonight we plan to finish off with the two bedrooms.

One of the main reasons for the need for change is due to the fact that our daughter is now sleeping in her own room (sob!) and needs more space. We have been placing her in the other room for a few weeks now to see if any of us would sleep better, and what was thought to be a temporary solution has now become a permanent one. I am sad to let her go! We have all slept in the same room since her birth and I truly miss her presence (even though I still get up 1-2 times a night to nurse). I have been a bit tender these past few weeks with the sobering fact that my daughter is getting older. I'm realizing how quickly it is happening and sometimes wishing to go back to those first few days and weeks of her life.

Another main reason I itch for change is because of my constant desire to not remain stagnant! I want to learn, do something new, travel, live somewhere else, move! As much as I hate moving (because of how many times I have had to do it in the past six years), I also hate being in the same place for too long. Add it to the fact that I am indoors all day, every day during winter and there you have my need to DO SOMETHING. Rearranging the apartment allows me the opportunity to live in a new space in a new way without actually having to move somewhere else. Granted, moving is a goal of ours for this year, but for now we are willing to live well within our space.

Anyway, back to the new arrangement. We are satisfied with where our furnishings and belongings are now placed, especially since we were aiming for more practicality and functionality. I currently have two new favorites:

The first is this small gathering area in our living room -

The chairs are actually from our dining room table set. We don't have guests over often enough to make use out of all four chairs so we figured they would be put to better use as more seating in the living room. And, if we do happen to need them for entertaining guests for a meal then we can simply move them into the dining room. The table is one we picked up for free from someone in our apartment building who was moving and didn't want to take it along (we snatched a few more items from them also). It has never been my favorite table, but I can already tell this is going to be the best spot and use for it. We decorated it simply with a few magazines and books as well as one of the MANY wheat centerpieces we made for our wedding.

The second is how we decided to make use of this piece of furniture -

Originally, this cart held our television, dvd player, cable box, and internet modem. However, I always wanted to make better use of it because I love the wheels and the storage space underneath. So, we got rid of cable, moved the tv & dvd player to our room, and wheeled this lovely piece of furniture to just inside the dining area for better use.

The idea was to use this cart as a coffee cart, but considering that we have so much produce these days (and not enough places to store it), I figured we could use the top of the cart as a produce stand. As I did some brainstorming, I realized that the bottom of the cart could still be used for a few coffee & tea items, so we sort of have a coffee cart :) The placement of this cart is easily accessible and serves as a reminder to eat our fruits and veggies! Considering that it is a small piece on such a big wall, however, I am still trying to decide how to decorate that area a little better. I think a vase of flowers or greenery would look especially nice on the stand itself (once it becomes a little less cluttered), or I might put up some streamers/garland/etc just above the cart to make the area a bit more festive. I'll have to use Pinterest or Apartment Therapy as a reference if I can't figure out what to do :)

Hope the weekend was good to you!

Diary of a Stay-At-Home Mom: Day 23 - #projectsimplify

One of the projects I have been working on while staying home with Vienna has been simplifying EVERYTHING. And I mean it! I have sifted through the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and spare bedroom. I didn't mean to start this project, per se, but it has turned into quite the cleaning and organizing task. Each day I find more and more things to get rid of that I no longer want, use, or is just taking up space. Each day my piles grow and more and more things are getting put into bags for donation.

We live in a two-bedroom apartment, and don't have a ton of storage space (though renting a storage unit these past few months has helped tremendously). So my main goal has been learning to live with less, while having better quality. I realized that the past few years I have not had adequate time to go through my belongings because I was preoccupied with college, multiple moves, various apartments, work, and big life changes such as marriage and welcoming a baby. As I become more aware of myself and continue to create my identity, I find that I prefer a certain "style" and that I would like to streamline/make consistent that identity and style based upon the things I own and use in my daily life.

Let me tell you, this project leaves me feeling great! It feels so good to do a much-needed purging of items. While I think my husband is getting annoyed with my constant cleaning, organizing and re-organizing, consistent trips to Goodwill, and "Do you need this? Can I throw this away?" questioning, he assures me that he is not. Actually, the other day (upon noticing a more efficient use of kitchen space) he complimented me and said, "I love being married to you." I'm glad he sees my OCD with cleanliness and organization to be a good quality!

Although I am getting rid of a lot of items, I would also like to replace some that I think would help to enhance/solidify my style and identity. For instance, there are items of clothing, jewelry, and housewares that I would like to refresh since I have not shopped or updated in a long time. However, that will come in time. The goal is to live simply, right?

While I'm sure that this project will never completely end throughout life, I am glad that for future reference I will have a better idea of what items to keep, have on hand, throw away, or even collect. And hey, if you need help with cleaning or organizing in your place, you know who to call ;)

*This is the top of my dresser, simplified.

Pictured: Holy Water from Mount St. Mary's Grotto - Emmitsburg, MD; jewelry catch-all dish from World Market; box filled with other pieces of jewelry; July 2012 Linnea Design Calendar Poster 

P.S. I know it isn't July, but my husband put that poster on the wall to cheer me up (since I don't always do too well in the winter), to remind me of warm weather, and to remind me of the month my daughter was born this past year.

*The following story is merely an excerpt of a much larger experience that will be told through multiple posts. 

As my husband and I anxiously awaited the test result, I could feel my fears becoming reality—fears of carrying a foreign being inside me and physically having to deliver it, fears of giving up the perfect life I had been so patiently waiting to live and was now just stepping into as a new wife, fears of learning to give love when I was beginning to know how to receive it. I already knew the answer before looking at the test.

I was pregnant.

---

The hours and days that followed were some of the most agonizing and heart-breaking of my life. Even now as I write I think back to this event last year and the feelings that surrounded our shock and surprise. It's hard for me to even think about without stirring up feelings of anger, guilt, resentment, and deep sadness. But those times would also lead to a new me that I had never known before.

---

That holiday season was so bittersweet. We were a newly married couple - so happy and in love. And yet we were suddenly dealing with an unplanned pregnancy that we simply could not (and did not) want to accept. It was so hard. For the longest time, I just wanted it to go away. I didn't know how, but I prayed that somehow everything was just a fluke. I wasn't ready for a baby and I wasn't ready to lose my life as it was, as I dreamed it would be. I cried, and cried some more. Asa cried with me and tried to help. But there was nothing that would console me. I felt as though I was in a bad dream. When would I wake up? This wasn't really happening to me. It couldn't be…

I feared telling family and friends the news, too. I thought they wouldn't understand, would judge us for having a honeymoon baby. However, we found that when we did tell family and friends it was such a huge relief, a weight off our chests. We had been keeping a secret for so long and now that it was out in the open we could breathe a sigh of relief.

But even as I made doctor appointments, had blood tests, and attended a pregnancy class I denied it all. I thought, ‘We’ll never have to deal with this stuff because we're not really pregnant.’ Driving this resentment and denial was also my fear of being pregnant. I don’t know exactly where it came from, but the very thought of another thing growing inside me was terrifying, strange. During my engagement with Asa, the subject of sex and children was always slightly up in the air. We didn't avoid talking about it altogether, but when those conversations did come up neither of us walked away satisfied. Now it wasn't an issue that we had to agree on – it had been decided for us.

As the days slowly passed by we agreed/resolved to take things day by day. Thankfully, it worked out very well and helped us cope with our thoughts and emotions. However, I still struggled with the fact that my life plan had radically changed in a matter of no time. Of course, some of our family and friends already assumed that we were pregnant. This only added to my anger and sadness. “How did everyone else see this coming and not us?”

---

With the Advent season upon us, I'm using the same Advent reflection book that I have for a few years now, and I am realizing that it is resonating with me so much more this time around. The other day while reading the reflection I came across this passage.

...it was impossible not to think of miseries of my own that bore no resemblance to a gift at the time. It is almost always that way. Looking only at the surface of things, so much is veiled. From that vantage point it was almost impossible to glimpse the work of love, and even harder to imagine that pain and loss might be a vehicle for something much greater.

I think about the number of gifts I've failed to see and how many events I've imbued with a power they didn't have. And what if, instead of being outraged when I experience setbacks, I found the power within to trust that the present darkness might ultimately be transformed into a blaze of love?

As I read the passage, I had a deep sense of connection to the words being spoken, and to the woman who wrote them (Paula D' Arcy). Although her story is much more tragic than mine, I was able to relate to her sentiments.

Looking back, I ask myself, 'How could I not have trusted God? He has never let me down before; never led me astray. Why would this situation be any different?' But at the time, it was so hard for me to understand His plan and to trust Him. I was so blinded by anger and sadness that I wasn't able to see His great gift of love. To think that He trusted me and my husband enough with such a precious gift is really a testament that He knows what He is doing!

The Story Continues…

Diary of a Stay-at-Home Mom: Day One

Day One:

After an early morning nursing session (I wanted to sleep in, but Vie was being very chatty!), I got up and made breakfast and tea (had a little mishap, but all is well).

I then spent some time reading to Vienna His word. She listened intently (as she likes to watch mouths move) and it was a good start to the day.

Our plans for this dreary Monday:

- more winter/Advent/Christmas decorating

- a walk outside for some fresh air

- napping as much as we want

- lots of playtime and bonding

Diaper Bag Essentials

For the mamas out there, a diaper bag is a must-have accessory. When caring for little ones, you need to make sure that you're prepared for anything and everything which is why some items in the diaper bag are essentials. Of course, essentials can change with the seasons, but one thing remains certain: simple is better. It's heavy carrying a diaper bag, purse (which I tend not to use if carrying a diaper bag), and a baby in a carseat as you go about your day, so why not lighten the load a little?

+ Having a three-month old, the most important essential is diapers...obviously. Since we use cloth diapers, we also need diaper covers, and extra ones just in case she misses her target a little ;) Our Ecobum diaper covers aren't used a whole lot, but they have saved us on occasion and are a little easier to use than our other covers because they only require one row of buttons instead of the traditional two.

+ Since Vienna is breastfed, I need a cover for when I have to nurse in public. This leaf-patterned Eddie Bauer nursing cover is beautiful! The pattern is neutral, isn't too distracting for Vienna, and right now is a great complement to the autumn season. Plus it has little pockets at the bottom for storing nursing pads!

+ We just acquired the Natursutten Orthodontic rubber pacifier earlier this week and I am in love! The one we had was getting small and made of plastic (which made for marks on Vienna's cute cheeks from sucking so hard), so I was happy to get rid of it! I feel much better knowing she is sucking on something more natural and doesn't have to endure the painful plastic on the sides of her mouth.

+ Lately, Vienna has been loving this colorful horse toy given to her by her Aunt Emily. The colors and patterns make for good stimulation and she is even grabbing at it and trying to play with it! It's made of cloth so I don't have to worry about her biting on a hard, plastic toy.

+ They say it's important to start reading to children when they're young, so I'm starting to read to Vienna more often. This Brown Bear book is sturdy so I don't have to worry about it getting damaged, is small enough to carry around in the diaper bag, and also provides another source of stimulation and learning for Vienna whether looking at the pictures or listening to me read.

+ Vienna loves to be swaddled! This owl aden + anais swaddle blanket is HUGE and makes for perfect swaddling at any age. Also, since it's a thin, light-weight fabric, I don't have to worry about her sweating, but yet she is also able to still be warm when wearing warm pjs or clothes. Bonus: this blanket can also be used as a nursing cover! We have two of these (the other one has bees on it that we use to swaddle Vienna at night) and we use them all the time!

+ The weather is starting to get colder here in Michigan, so it's time to start busting out the hats and warm coats. We have been putting Vienna in a couple of different hats, but we always get a kick out of this tomato hat that our friends Zach & Laura gave to us. It's made out of thick wool and keeps Vienna's head nice and toasty :)

Some items that are not pictured that are also essential:

+ wipes for a poopy bottom

+ a bag for dirty dipes

+ an extra outfit (just in case!)

+ hand sanitizer

What are some of your diaper bag essentials?

Motherly Advice

*Let me preface this blog entry by stating that in no way am I trying to enforce my opinions or advice on anyone, nor am I "all knowing" in motherhood or parenting. I simply want to share some resources that I found useful during my pregnancy, and afterwards, that might be useful for others.

With news of many around me expecting a baby in the near future (or already parents), I thought it might be helpful to share some resources that were shared with me or that I found independently during my journey. These resources really helped me in order to prepare for all aspects of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. I continuously try to use what I have learned and put this newly harnessed knowledge into practice each day.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Pregnancy:

I wanted a medication-free/medical intervention-free birth for our child. However, if I felt that I truly could not go through the pain then I was open to accepting medication. Same with medical intervention - if my child or I were in danger or we did everything else we possibly could and there were no other options besides C-section then I was open to that intervention to help us. Thankfully, neither of those things happened. My labor and delivery experience went as close to our birth plan as possible. But, I truly feel that without having these resources at hand it would have been a little more difficult.

Yes, I went without medication through the entire labor and delivery process. The doctors were so amazed that I was doing such a good job. They thought I was a champ at giving birth "naturally" (um, isn't birth itself natural?). *I realized that I never shared Vie's birth story, but if you truly want to know the details then feel free to ask and I will share!

Let me just say that I was afraid of pregnancy and giving birth since high school. And how could I not be when women in society pound it into your head as such a terrible ordeal? All you hear about are the horror stories - where are the positive stories about birth? Enter Ina May Gaskin...

The first resource I read was Ina May Gaskin's book called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It was recommended to me by my SIL Alison. A great read! If you want to be empowered and fearless, I suggest reading other women's positive birth stories. Not only that, as a midwife, Ina May has direct knowledge about the whole process and has seen all types of things! And she is not afraid to talk about it bluntly :) She has great tips on different labor positions (which I used), the importance of breathing techniques and relaxation, and the importance of a loving and supportive coach.

Childbirth - Labor and Delivery:

Asa and I enrolled in some childbirth classes through the hospital which were actually pretty informative and useful. Being in a room with other expectant parents was a relief and the nurses who taught the classes made things less scary and more real. That was always my problem: my imagination and fear of the unknown drove me to think of childbirth in scary and painful ways when I found it not to be that way at all!

Again, Ina May's book was the most helpful for me in this area because it allowed for me to think of birth in a positive, natural light - which, after all, it is! And granted, my pregnancy and childbirth experiences were nice and easy (compared to some others), but I firmly believe that women need more confidence and support in this area and Ina May provided that for me.

Asa and I also took to another media outlet - movies. Actually, just one movie. A documentary called The Business of Being Born. I recommend! It discusses how hospitals view birth as procedures and place a lot of pressure upon women to get babies out as fast as possible. The documentary talks about the chain reaction that happens once you start a medication that is just fascinatingly disturbing and unknown by many. Anyway, I suggest checking that out for a lot more information. And I will say (in relation to this movie) that I am not at all opposed to giving birth in a hospital, but I realized after my experience that I could have totally given birth at home and probably will for the next one! Especially now that those nice hospital bills are coming in... :)

Breastfeeding:

I wasn't too keen on having to breastfeed either, but I knew it was going to be the best option. So, I took to another Ina May book recommended by my SIL: Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. While I didn't enjoy this book as much as I did her other one, it did have a lot of helpful information that made breastfeeding a lot less awkward and weird to me.

Now, the end that never ends -

Parenting:

Parenting is a constant learning experience. While I can't speak about it too much right now, I can give some resources on it. I know there are a ton of books out there about how to get your child to sleep, the things you should be teaching them as a parent, how to discipline children, yadda yadda. I don't really like reading those books so I'll only read the sections I need help with. Well, another book my SIL recommended is Dr. Harvey Karp's The Happiest Baby On the Block. Dr. Karp is a pediatrician in New York and many celebrities even look to him for advice. This book is all about the "fourth trimester" and how to soothe colicky babies. I was reading this to prepare myself for a colicky baby, but she turned out not to be one (thank God!). However, even though we didn't use a lot of things he talked about, we did gain more knowledge about why colic happens, for how long, why babies should be in the womb for another three months, why babies like certain movements and sounds, etc. He is a great writer and he doesn't make you feel bad for not being able to soothe your baby!

I also read sections of a Slow and Steady Parenting book which discusses things like thumb sucking vs. pacifiers, Ferber method vs. comforting, etc. and the "short term solutions that lead to long term effects." The things parents sometimes never think about! I could spiel on these topics, but perhaps I should save that for a later entry or a face-to-face discussion!

Recently, I came across a vaccination resource since we now have to make decisions on whether or not to vaccinate our child. This topic has been of some recent debate and now that we are presented with it, my husband and I want to make sure we are doing good research. After all, we are the advocates and decision makers for our child so we need to make sure we are educated and keeping her safe. This resource I found is informational and presents some facts that were unknown to me. I find it to be a legitimate source and provider of some of the information I was seeking about whether or not to vaccinate. I do recommend reading the "Informed Consent" article under the ABOUT US section.

We also chose to use cloth diapers for our little one. It saves us so much money, is better for the environment, is hassle-free, and we get to use cute covers :) We go through a diaper service called Diapers Unlimited by Dydee Service. It's a diaper delivery service available in MI, IN and IL. Each week we pay a certain fee and get cloth diapers delivered to our door! - and they take the dirty ones away! It is SO helpful, especially since both my husband and I work full-time. They are easy to work with and very friendly so if you are thinking of doing cloth diapers for your babe I recommend giving them a call.

Lastly, I look to other moms and dads out there for different parenting styles. I believe all of us can learn from each other about the ways to raise our children. I find it fascinating the styles, techniques, disciplines, etc. that parents use - there is no universal way to raise children which I think all parents (at one point or another) wish was possible! :)

All in all, be an advocate for your child. Do what is safe, responsible, good, and healthy. I hope this entry has been of some use, and I am always open to questions and discussion! I might not know a lot, but I do know that in order for me to be a good mother I need to continuously do research and gain knowledge about a lot of things in order to grow, mature, and pass down wisdom :)

*Whichever stage you may be in, I hope you and your child are safe, happy, and healthy!*

This week, I went back to work after six weeks of being at home with my newborn daughter. As you can tell, I made it through! Thankfully I went back on a Wednesday so I only had to make it through three days. And being that it was a Wednesday, my husband took care of our daughter, as he will from here on out. His boss is kind enough to let him work on Saturdays so that he can have Wednesdays at home - not that working on Saturdays is better, but it is nice that he can be home one day a week. We are also very lucky to have a friend and a relative watch our daughter the other days of the week. No daycare for us!

The transition was easier than I thought it would be, although I would much rather be at home. Having spent six weeks at home with my little one brought me so much joy and happiness that I started dreaming about becoming a stay-at-home mother - something I never thought I would have desired! I hope to live out that dream someday.

Back to reality. Coworkers wished me "welcome back" when they saw me this week and immediately asked to see pictures. Of course, I didn't hesitate to show them our cute Vie! I was also able to come home during my lunch hour and feed or pump. I'm happy that so far the plan has worked, and that I live close enough to home to be able to walk back and forth so that I can have a little bit of bonding time with my daughter during the day. Plus I get my exercise, so no complaints there :)

I'm curious to find out what these next few weeks will bring in terms of being a working mother. Will the transition become easier? Will some other new opportunities present themselves? I am also curious to find out what the future holds in other areas of my life. Since giving birth, I have felt a new sense of freedom - the ability to return to life as it was before I was pregnant, and also the ability to create a new life - but that's a story for a whole other post entirely!

Thankful for the weekend!

My baby is a month old already! It still seems like yesterday we were spending a weekend in the hospital bonding as a family. Over the past few weeks I have thought of that weekend a number of times. It still seems unreal to me - the timeline of events from beginning of labor to birth, the emotions we felt and how they constantly changed, the "feeling" of Vienna's birth day and the weekend ... all of that. I think about the day we came home from the hospital and everything was as we left it just two days before: dirty dishes in the sink, our pajamas and a notebook I was using to track contractions opened up on the bed, windows open, the area of the living room floor where I was doing labor positions early Friday morning. It's like we had a moment of time captured to relive; or rather, remember. I suppose the same could be said when you go on vacation for awhile and then come back home to see everything as it was before you left. Time stands still.

The first month of motherhood has been great. Getting used to having a baby around has been an adjustment, but we love it. Although I am more tired than usual, I love caring for my daughter. She is such a sweetheart, and a rather good baby, and I am blessed to have her as a part of my family. And this month, she was added to another family - our church family! We were fortunate enough to have her baptized into the Catholic community a few weeks ago. It's refreshing to know that she has so much love and support around her. We are grateful to be witnesses to this Sacrament and now have even more responsibility as parents to guide her as she grows.

Speaking of growing, Vienna has done a lot of that this month! Just a week and a half after her birth, she had already gained 13oz - she weighed in at over 9lbs! And Asa and I can tell that she has put on more weight since then for she feels heavier these days :) She has also grown in length. She is already getting to be too big for her bassinet (unless she is swaddled)! We might have to transition to a crib sooner than we thought. It has been fun to witness her growth physically and mentally over the past month.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to witness her growth in such close quarters too much anymore. Next week I must return to work so our bonding moments will be saved for evenings and during lunch hour when I plan to come home and feed her. This situation is one that has weighed heavily on my heart since a few months before giving birth, but I must trust that in time God will provide us with the means for me to become a stay-at-home mama. And although I do have to return to work, I shouldn't dwell on it too much because the past month of bonding with my daughter has been wonderful and will be able to continue even once I start working again.

But enough "woe is me" ... life is great! My husband and I are very blessed and fortunate for everything that we have and are. I am looking forward to the changing of the seasons from summer to fall, watching Vienna grow each day, our one year wedding anniversary, our future as a family and the prospect of owning a home to call our own, the everyday goods and bads, growing in my roles as wife, mother, & homemaker, and whatever else comes our way!

On Friday, July 25th at 4:08pm, Asa and I welcomed our daughter into the world. At 8lbs 4oz, she was perfection and immediately daddy's little girl.

People ask us who we think she looks like, and honestly, we aren't sure. But, she does have some visible qualities from each of us already. She has my husband's cowlick and curved toes, and my big feet and long fingers. It also looks like she is going to share our blue eye color. And of course, she's a total cutie :)

The first week at home went by all too quickly. My husband didn't work all week which was something that I really enjoyed - it was nice having him around. We also had lots of visitors who brought meals and gifts which was definitely appreciated. Obviously, there has been an adjustment with having a baby around, but we made it through - nothing too unbearable yet.

Motherhood has been about what I expected. Actually, I sort of fell into it rather easily. It has been an enjoyable experience so far learning and experiencing new things, having a new priority and responsibility, and making sacrifices for my family. I hope I'm being the best mom I can be to my little girl!

Things I learned this past week:
+ there truly are not enough hours in the day
+ caffeine and naps are a must
+ nursing is painful at first and at times inconvenient, but totally worth it
+ thank goodness we chose to use cloth diapers instead of disposables - babies go through so many of them!
+ eight hours of uninterrupted sleep at night is no longer an option (hence why naps are a must)
+ my husband is the best at changing diapers and shhing our baby when she's crying
+ I have more patience than I thought
+ raising children is definitely a team effort and I'm so thankful for my husband and all he does
+ what once was thought to be a burden is now a blessing
+ knowing I'm no longer pregnant gives me a whole new sense of freedom

I am now a mama to a beautiful girl - what a precious gift!

Waiting Game

This week I started my maternity leave from work. What a relief! It has been nice to be able to stay home and get things done. Although, I had to create a list of things to do to keep myself occupied after other tasks were finished so as to not sit around worrying about labor or "waste" my time off doing absolutely nothing. Thankfully, worrying about labor hasn't settled in my mind - perhaps that will change once I am actually in it! Although labor has been a fear of mine in the past and is something that is rather unsettling, lately I have simply thought "I will deal with it when it comes. No big deal. I'm confident enough in myself and my body, and my body was meant to do this, so no problem." And, since I do not know what to expect, do not know how it will go, how painful it will be, etc., how can I even fathom how the process is going to be? So, I am ready and will deal with it when it comes.

Speaking of which, Asa and I are hoping for the baby to make its appearance this weekend! We are ready to meet our babe - and having heard of a few births recently of friends/people we know - are eager to see who our baby is and welcome him/her into our life. So, pray that will have the baby this weekend! Dealing with some aches and pains this week has me hopeful that we are very close to having the baby - granted, we have less than a week until the due date anyway, so any day now could be labor day :)

So what have I been doing this week while I am sitting around playing the waiting game? Well, my list wasn't as fun as you may think, but as long as I was able to cross things off of it, then I am satisfied :)

things to do (done) while waiting for labor:

+ clean the apartment: laundry, bathroom, kitchen sink, sweep, vacuum, dust, clean the stove, dishes.

+ homemaking: organize books and papers around apartment, change place settings for the dinner table, make dinner each night, bake cookies (peanut butter).

+ baby things: practice using cloth diapers, practice swaddling, reread about the "5 S's" to cure colicky babies, read sections of pregnancy/parenting books, practice using Moby wrap, add more and more "one last thing!" to diaper bag & hospital bag, print off poem to add to decoration above the bassinet.

+ mama time: tv, movies, see a couple of friends, church and prayer, blog, and much needed naps!

Hopefully I won't have to come up with another list for next week! Pray that we'll get to celebrate a birthday in our family this weekend :)

We're almost done!

How far along?  - 38 weeks

Total weight gain/loss:   - 25lbs

Maternity clothes?   - A few, but only purchased one item myself!

Stretch marks?   - Nope!

Best moment recently:   Hearing my husband talk about how excited he is to meet the baby.

Miss anything:  - Not having to get up to pee every night (thankfully I only do it once!)

Movement:   - Yes, although I think it has slowed down a little since there isn't much room left in there!

Food cravings:   - None

Anything making you queasy or sick:   - Nope

Have you started to show yet:   - Obviously

Exercise:   - Not as much as I should be! But I still try to walk to as many places as I can: to/from work, farmer's market, walks with Asa, basically anywhere close to home

Gender:   - Do not know!

Labor Signs:   - Some painless braxton hicks. Also, the head has descended into my pelvis.

Other Aches/Pains:   - A bit of back pain, hip pain sometimes from sleeping on my sides, the baby's head in my pelvis, pushing against my nerves and giving me a little leg shock!

Belly Button in or out?   - Just a tip of the top portion is out, haha

Wedding rings on or off?   - On

Happy or Moody most of the time:   - I suppose getting a little more moody from time to time, but generally in a happy mood.

Favorite “New Dad” moment:   - Comments he makes about seeing, hugging, and holding the baby; how proud he is to get to talk about having a baby soon

Looking forward to:   - The relief of getting the baby out! Also, having a summer babe and enjoying the rest of the summer with him/her.