Motherly Advice

*Let me preface this blog entry by stating that in no way am I trying to enforce my opinions or advice on anyone, nor am I "all knowing" in motherhood or parenting. I simply want to share some resources that I found useful during my pregnancy, and afterwards, that might be useful for others.

With news of many around me expecting a baby in the near future (or already parents), I thought it might be helpful to share some resources that were shared with me or that I found independently during my journey. These resources really helped me in order to prepare for all aspects of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. I continuously try to use what I have learned and put this newly harnessed knowledge into practice each day.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Pregnancy:

I wanted a medication-free/medical intervention-free birth for our child. However, if I felt that I truly could not go through the pain then I was open to accepting medication. Same with medical intervention - if my child or I were in danger or we did everything else we possibly could and there were no other options besides C-section then I was open to that intervention to help us. Thankfully, neither of those things happened. My labor and delivery experience went as close to our birth plan as possible. But, I truly feel that without having these resources at hand it would have been a little more difficult.

Yes, I went without medication through the entire labor and delivery process. The doctors were so amazed that I was doing such a good job. They thought I was a champ at giving birth "naturally" (um, isn't birth itself natural?). *I realized that I never shared Vie's birth story, but if you truly want to know the details then feel free to ask and I will share!

Let me just say that I was afraid of pregnancy and giving birth since high school. And how could I not be when women in society pound it into your head as such a terrible ordeal? All you hear about are the horror stories - where are the positive stories about birth? Enter Ina May Gaskin...

The first resource I read was Ina May Gaskin's book called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It was recommended to me by my SIL Alison. A great read! If you want to be empowered and fearless, I suggest reading other women's positive birth stories. Not only that, as a midwife, Ina May has direct knowledge about the whole process and has seen all types of things! And she is not afraid to talk about it bluntly :) She has great tips on different labor positions (which I used), the importance of breathing techniques and relaxation, and the importance of a loving and supportive coach.

Childbirth - Labor and Delivery:

Asa and I enrolled in some childbirth classes through the hospital which were actually pretty informative and useful. Being in a room with other expectant parents was a relief and the nurses who taught the classes made things less scary and more real. That was always my problem: my imagination and fear of the unknown drove me to think of childbirth in scary and painful ways when I found it not to be that way at all!

Again, Ina May's book was the most helpful for me in this area because it allowed for me to think of birth in a positive, natural light - which, after all, it is! And granted, my pregnancy and childbirth experiences were nice and easy (compared to some others), but I firmly believe that women need more confidence and support in this area and Ina May provided that for me.

Asa and I also took to another media outlet - movies. Actually, just one movie. A documentary called The Business of Being Born. I recommend! It discusses how hospitals view birth as procedures and place a lot of pressure upon women to get babies out as fast as possible. The documentary talks about the chain reaction that happens once you start a medication that is just fascinatingly disturbing and unknown by many. Anyway, I suggest checking that out for a lot more information. And I will say (in relation to this movie) that I am not at all opposed to giving birth in a hospital, but I realized after my experience that I could have totally given birth at home and probably will for the next one! Especially now that those nice hospital bills are coming in... :)

Breastfeeding:

I wasn't too keen on having to breastfeed either, but I knew it was going to be the best option. So, I took to another Ina May book recommended by my SIL: Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. While I didn't enjoy this book as much as I did her other one, it did have a lot of helpful information that made breastfeeding a lot less awkward and weird to me.

Now, the end that never ends -

Parenting:

Parenting is a constant learning experience. While I can't speak about it too much right now, I can give some resources on it. I know there are a ton of books out there about how to get your child to sleep, the things you should be teaching them as a parent, how to discipline children, yadda yadda. I don't really like reading those books so I'll only read the sections I need help with. Well, another book my SIL recommended is Dr. Harvey Karp's The Happiest Baby On the Block. Dr. Karp is a pediatrician in New York and many celebrities even look to him for advice. This book is all about the "fourth trimester" and how to soothe colicky babies. I was reading this to prepare myself for a colicky baby, but she turned out not to be one (thank God!). However, even though we didn't use a lot of things he talked about, we did gain more knowledge about why colic happens, for how long, why babies should be in the womb for another three months, why babies like certain movements and sounds, etc. He is a great writer and he doesn't make you feel bad for not being able to soothe your baby!

I also read sections of a Slow and Steady Parenting book which discusses things like thumb sucking vs. pacifiers, Ferber method vs. comforting, etc. and the "short term solutions that lead to long term effects." The things parents sometimes never think about! I could spiel on these topics, but perhaps I should save that for a later entry or a face-to-face discussion!

Recently, I came across a vaccination resource since we now have to make decisions on whether or not to vaccinate our child. This topic has been of some recent debate and now that we are presented with it, my husband and I want to make sure we are doing good research. After all, we are the advocates and decision makers for our child so we need to make sure we are educated and keeping her safe. This resource I found is informational and presents some facts that were unknown to me. I find it to be a legitimate source and provider of some of the information I was seeking about whether or not to vaccinate. I do recommend reading the "Informed Consent" article under the ABOUT US section.

We also chose to use cloth diapers for our little one. It saves us so much money, is better for the environment, is hassle-free, and we get to use cute covers :) We go through a diaper service called Diapers Unlimited by Dydee Service. It's a diaper delivery service available in MI, IN and IL. Each week we pay a certain fee and get cloth diapers delivered to our door! - and they take the dirty ones away! It is SO helpful, especially since both my husband and I work full-time. They are easy to work with and very friendly so if you are thinking of doing cloth diapers for your babe I recommend giving them a call.

Lastly, I look to other moms and dads out there for different parenting styles. I believe all of us can learn from each other about the ways to raise our children. I find it fascinating the styles, techniques, disciplines, etc. that parents use - there is no universal way to raise children which I think all parents (at one point or another) wish was possible! :)

All in all, be an advocate for your child. Do what is safe, responsible, good, and healthy. I hope this entry has been of some use, and I am always open to questions and discussion! I might not know a lot, but I do know that in order for me to be a good mother I need to continuously do research and gain knowledge about a lot of things in order to grow, mature, and pass down wisdom :)

*Whichever stage you may be in, I hope you and your child are safe, happy, and healthy!*